Juju spells. The good kind. The bad kind. My Dear Dear Bitch, Please don't kill my vibe..

I was down with tummy ills lately, which is not somethin' new since I've gotten digestion issues from time immemorial. I kinda feel laame taking Zantac so I pop Prevacid for breakfast, Tums for lunch and tea. Ulcer's the worst, I could almost swear someone's doin' juju on me whenever it strikes. Also, I tend to ruminate looong and deeply all things death-related whenever my ulcer is kickin' in, dunno why but by default this just happens.

Consequently, it is but obvious that I was able to craft my otherwise calm and well-planned funeral far in advance. For me, as my ashes feed the roses or if otherwise I turn into a nice mango tree, I want something a lot creative as I bid the Earth farewell. Whuut?? This is what I tell students whenever we're down to Nitrogen cycle where I'm posing to be green and all eco-chic, I'm such a poser I know I know! What did I tell you about the decay process and piss ass denitrifying bacteria and goin' all back to atmosphere all chic and fab Pre-dentistry kids on my Biochem and Biology class? What've all my Engineering and Business Ad students learned on our Environmental Science and Earth Science class?! 

Yo, mama we 'al gonna die but to be something boringly morose is never what we wanna when we strut the grand final exit ya know what I'm sayin'? For starters, I want something like those to die for lil deli airline salamiches or maybe some very dainty greek burgeritos on my third course. No, noooo and no. No dinuguan on the menu. Period. 

Moving on to my playlist, something tells me you shouldn't say the word dead in a funeral song. It's jz way too obvious. So here's the rundown of my death la morte go-to list: First of, because I'm such a disco baller, hustling away with: "Do the Hustle" is my absolute first choice,

Also the likes of 'em such as: "Rock Your Baby'' by George McCrae,

'' Rock The Boat'' by The Hues Corporation,

Also,"Keep on Jumpin" by Musique,

There's also ''Ask Me'' by Ecstasy Passion and Pain,

"Bat out of Hell" by Meatloaf, very appropriate.

There's also "Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll" by Vaughan Mason,

"Free Man" by South Shore Commission,

Pockets' "Come Go With Me",

"Boogie Wonderland" is some kind of awesome too, I really am not trying to make people cry so there you go call me weird, but I'll be shakin' my groove 'til my last breath. Dance moves are optional. No votive candles, please. Here's your complimentary glowstick. Ikr, I'm juz way too enthusiastic about soundtrackin' my own funeral.

Also, I really want to romanticize things so jotted down on my will to leave two thirds of my ashes either as a beautiful artisanal glass sculpture hand crafted by a very skilled artist of course which sorta looks like this:

As oppose to this, How daaare you?!!Oh please,don't you dare!!Don't like my traces on a paper weight I'd rather be a twig if that's the case.

I Could be kept inside a really kawaii locket. I really like the idea of having a secret chamber which my lovey dovey can open incase he misses me, and find a lock of my hair with traces of Tresemme, maybe some dried flower petals oooooooor if he may be so bold perhaps use one third of my pixie dusts on tattoo ink and get himself an awesome tat of me inked all over him, AHA! I'm selfish, what mine is mine, whatever. Go awayyy.

In other less depressing news, killin' the bad juju vibe, how 'bout recounting our blessings for a change? Ok, so question of the day is, "Are you happy of what you have got careerwise?", pretty intense huh, ok lemme get that for you, as for me, I do enjoy the lowlights just as much as the highlights. Speaking of which I just signed an appointment letter of promotion as the new Director of Education signed by the VP and of course the President of National *Awesomeness* University. Hmm, and you'd think Mercury was in retrograde following the supermoon and tralala. Keeck azz!